Why does my wife not want to have a child with me?

My wife is Korean and I am American. I met her in Korea while teaching english for 2 yrs. We had a great courtship and she was a virgin when married unlike myself. She stated that she wanted 3 children before marriage. We subsequently decided to live in the US, thus she immigrated on a marriage visa. She has no immediate family in the US. My parents are such where my mom would rather have jewels than help her adopted kids out. My wife got pregnant in our first year of marriage and she decided to have an abortion. She is a devout Christian. I am very spiritual but do not attend church anymore. Her father was an adulterer and gambler but her mother was forced to have a child until a boy was born which was the fifth child. My wife was the fourth. She is extremely attractive and is now 40 yrs old. I just don't understand why my wife told me she wanted to have children but then after marriage decided to have an abortion and swore she would never have a child with me when she would get angry during a menstrual cycle. I didn't fight her too hard on the abortion because I believe that if she didn't want the child then why force her as that would be bad for the pregnancy and newborn she didn't really want. The last 10 years I have heard every reason why I wouldn't get to have a child with her as I wouldn't be supportive enough, wasn't financially ready, didn't have a home, not enough money, even to the point that she would just plain ignore me if I brought up the subject. Honestly, I can deal with all of this except for this point. Why wouldn't my wife have ever wanted to see a little me run around? It wasn't until about 6 yrs ago to be honest that I really wanted to see a little one of her run around. Since then I have felt that she truly never loved me. Any advice is much appreciated. At this point I don't know who to turn to anymore...